Markets and Money has no voice in the US presidential elections. But we will nevertheless declare a preference for US President. Were he to toss his hat in the ring, we would line up behind former Senator Jon Corzine. The ex-Goldman chief has the experience that America needs. He has been a front-runner in politics…and in the world of finance, what he doesn’t know about front running is probably not worth knowing. Presuming, however, that Corzine will be too busy fending off lawsuits or jail sentences, our next choice is Republican Newt Gingrich. Of course, we find him completely repulsive, who wouldn’t? But we believe he’s the man of the hour. History needs him, to carry on the work of Bush and Obama, hustling the great nation on its way to Hell.
It is rare for a decent man to seek public office and run for president. He is ashamed of pandering. He is embarrassed by the stupidity of his own slogans. He is appalled by the low-lifes and quasi criminals with whom he must associate and from whom he must beg support.
They are all swarming around Newt Gingrich now. The handlers, pollsters, word polishers, idea chiselers, fund raisers, donors, hangers on, groupies, roadies — carpet-bagging rascals every one of them. Now they’ve got the scent in their nostrils. Their chests heave. The hearts pump. If they can just keep their man Newt from blowing himself up they’ll be in high cotton for at least 4 years. One will head a commission or a cushy seat at the UN. Another will get a contract to provide the pentagon with new ID badges. Another will ride into a remote Congressional seat on Newt’s coattails. Power. Money. If Newt wins, they win. Newt’s women will think themselves smarter and prettier. The men among them will feel their most private part growing bigger.
US presidential candidates generally fall into three categories. Those who are obviously incompetent. Those who are scalawags. And those who are jackasses. The job of the voters is to choose the defect most suited to the time.
Winston Churchill was a disaster as First Lord of the Admiralty during WWI; the Gallipoli campaign was his doing. Then, on how to deal with the Iraqi insurgents, circa 1920, he offered this advice: Use chemical weapons “against recalcitrant Arabs as an experiment,” he suggested, adding, “I am strongly in favour of using poisoned gas against uncivilised tribes to spread a lively terror.” Later, as Chancellor of the Exchequer, he put Britain back on the gold standard, but at a level that was bound to cause trouble. It came, in 1929.
He may have been incompetent. He may have been a big-mouth imperialist. But Churchill was the man Britain needed in 1940.
When times are good, the public generally prefers a scalawag. Clinton was the perfect US President for the ’90s boom years. Warren Harding would have been a great fit with the boom of the ’20s. He drank. He played cards. He snuck out of the White House to go to girlie shows. Otherwise, he left people alone. But he was a little early. Most of the “Roaring Twenties” boom happened during the Coolidge administration. On the surface, Coolidge was a mismatch. Straitlaced. A bit of a scold. But he minded his own business and — like Clinton during the dotcom bubble or Bush during the property bubble — he let speculators ruin themselves without raising an objection.
The trouble with Herbert Hoover was that he was too much of a nuts and bolts engineer. The public turned him out. They preferred Roosevelt’s confident malarkey. They wanted a man with a plan. No matter that the plan was claptrap. They’d never figure that out.
That’s the problem with Obama. He has no plan. He doesn’t know what is going on, or what to do about it. Which at least marks him as more intelligent than most of his challengers, who have the wrong idea on both counts. But neither brains nor competence is what the public wants now. In an emergency it wants Churchill, not Chamberlain. A Roosevelt, not a Hoover. It wants a bold liar. A hearty delusional.
Gingrich is their man. A letter in The Financial Times compared him to Churchill. He compares himself to de Gaulle. Both are correct, in our view. He is as humble as de Gaulle and at least as competent as Churchill. He is a cad who reportedly told his second wife that she was too old and too ugly to be a US President’s wife. He is a scoundrel who took $1.8 million from zombie mortgage lender, Freddie Mac. He makes angels weep; the gods get their backs up. So cometh Newt Gingrich to the Republican race. If you’re dumb enough, you think he’s smart. If you’re corrupt enough, you think he is honest. If you compare him to the field of the other presidential candidates, he doesn’t seem any more asinine than the rest.
He is incompetent, scalawag and jackass all in one package. A man for all seasons. Most importantly, he is committed to keeping America on course to its own destruction. The US already runs the biggest deficits in the developed world. Gingrich would add to them — by about $850 billion, according to one estimate. He hopes Reagan- era growth will eventually balance the books. He also thinks an Electro-Magnetic Pulse is one of the biggest dangers America faces. And he believes in American exceptionalism — as if the nation can dodge fate with some special math that applies to it alone. But if you begin asking questions about Newt’s pensee you are missing the point. America’s empire is decadent and degenerate. It needs a US President like Newt to help it on its way… to where all exceptional empires end up — on the scrap heap of history.
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