‘Nobody knows anything,’ they say in Hollywood.
They gather together millions of dollars…top celebrity actors…a director who has just won an Oscar…add a script with plenty of sex and violence…and look forward to a blockbuster.
Then they put it in front of a live audience…and the customers turn up their noses.
Tomorrow’s spectacle was meant to be a great epic from Establishment Productions.
It was to be the story of two noble families — the House of Clinton and the House of Bush — in a traditional staged conflict.
The House of Clinton would put forth its champion, Hillary. She — if elected — would be the first woman president of the US…and the first wife of a president (not to mention the first candidate faced with impeachment before even being elected)…ever to rule over the Americans.
Hillary was the candidate of the Left; studio strategists were sure she would make the show a hit. She had the cronies’ money in her pocket already. And there were enough people on the take from government to get her enough votes.
‘Women and families’ were what she said she cared about. She said it so often you could almost believe her.
Her only weakness was that she might not seem ‘tough’ enough for the empire’s lead role. So the studio set her up with four years of training as President Obama’s secretary of state…bombing, bullying, and shamelessly cheerleading the murder of thousands of the women and children she was supposed to love so dearly.
The House of Bush, meanwhile, had a long history of success in box-office politics. The founder of the dynasty, a Wall Street banker called Prescott, was elected as US Senator.
His son George was a US president. And grandson Dubya also played the role. So it seemed as though Dubya’s brother Jeb would be a shoo-in.
He would show the world that all members of the Bush family were not stupid. Plus, Jeb had proven in the swamps of Florida that he could woo the crackers and win an election.
It should have been a box-office bonanza in the Independence Day genre.
In that sci-fi action filmantasy, aliens attack the planet. At first, the Earthlings have trouble getting their act together. But then, the president himself puts on his fighter-pilot helmet and goes out to face the enemy and save humanity.
This year’s film, Election Showdown of 2016, was meant to have the same kind of end-of-life-as-we-know-it tension — resolving itself, of course, in a stirring triumph for the American Way.
Winner and loser would stand together, one congratulating the other, in front of a waving flag the size of Texas. The message would be clear and uplifting. Though they may have their differences, in the end, Republicans and Democrats are committed to the same goal: keeping the Deep State insiders in power.
But it was not to be. The sequel of Independence Day — Resurgence — fizzled. So did the ‘Make America Great Again’ election. We saw a foreshadowing of trouble early in the primaries. There was something wrong: Neither of the two stars appealed to the fans.
The cronies played their roles — duly ponying up the millions to make the flick. The studio insiders, directors, and producers performed as you would expect, perverting democracy with the usual tricks. The lead actors, too, appeared on set and delivered their lines just like they were supposed to. But viewers wouldn’t play along; they refused to clap!
The great drama that the special interests had scripted so carefully…and funded so generously (Hillary had already put in place one of the most successful influence-peddling machines in history)…was going to be a flop.
The seats were left empty. The popcorn was unsold. The mob in the seats was restless, practically threatening to burn the theatre down. The script had to be thrown out. A new team of writers, directors, and producers was brought in.
Numbskulls and has-beens
What was wrong?
The two performers had missed the mark.
One pretended to care for the weak, the underprivileged, the single mothers, and the multiple offenders. The other pretended to care about the economy, money, a sensible foreign policy, and traditional Republican values.
But the spectators had already seen this movie. They knew it was a fraud. They knew, too, that both of the stars were swinish mountebanks who had been playing them for fools for years…
The fans demanded something different; they wanted authentic characters, even if they were numbskulls or has-beens.
And so it was that two unlikely performers — one playing the part of an aging, cranky socialist…the other a flamboyant, rude PT Barnum — stole the show!
And what a show we ended up with! We can’t remember when an election generated so much interest, entertainment, claptrap, vituperation, calumny, and hogwash. The film, intended as a feel-good fantasy, has become an entirely different thing. Comic, dramatic, at times surreal… It is in a class of its own, somewhere between The Walking Dead and House of Cards.
Hillary barely held on to her role, and is now the champion for both Houses…not to mention the entire Deep State establishment. And poor Jeb had to go back to the stable, replaced with the aforementioned carnival barker, a man much better suited to the new farce-like genre.
No matter who wins, it’s one for the history books.
For Markets and Money, Australia
From the Archives…